Three football fans were out for a ride when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female, passed out drunk. Out of respect and propriety, the Packers fan took off his cap and placed it over her right breast. The Vikings fan took off his cap and placed it over her left breast. Following their lead, but with some grumbling, the Bears fan took off his cap and placed it over her girly part. The police were called and when the officer arrived, he conducted his inspection. First, he lifted up the Packers cap, replaced it, and wrote down some notes. Next, he lifted the Vikings cap, replaced it, and wrote down some more notes. The officer then lifted the Bears cap, replaced it, then lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time, and replaced it one last time. The Bears fan was becoming annoyed and finally asked, "What are you, a pervert or something? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking? "Well," said the officer, "I am simply surprised. Normally when I look under a Bears hat, I find an asshole.
Friday, February 02, 2007
two in a row!!!
I hate when people give directions and use phrase like "turn east on to blah blah blah" why can't you just say turn left or right? It annoys me. I've found myself talking like that once or twice and I hit myself in the junk as a reminder how much I hate it. Why do people drive the speed limit in the left lane? And how hard is it to use your blinker??!?!?!? JFC! USE IT!! I hate when there is the sound of liquid pouring into a glass in commercials. It annoys me, a lot! Thursday nights have way too many good shows on at night. From 7-8 pm you have "A Haunting" on TLC, then at 7:30pm you have "The Office", so I have to flip back-and-forth btwn two shows I like. A Haunting can be very scary. They set a great mood and they are based on true events. It can make the hair on the back of my neck stand up and send chills down my spine. More then I can say about most scary movies. The Office is hilarious. My fave line is when they find out Oscar is gay and Mike says some thing like "Dunder-Mifflin has chosen me to make up for a 1,000 years of people being weirded out". Then at 8 you have "The First 48". I'm addicted to this show as well. It is compelling to watch as these detectives try and solve murders. I hope the Bears lose the SB. I hate them. I don't really like Manning and it would be great if he finished his career like Marino w/o a SB ring but I'd rather have him break all Favre's records and have a ring then to watch the no good Bears celebrate. Their fans are degenerates. See links below. I'm so bored right now (I'm at work). I have 0 motivation right now. This day is just dragging on and on. I need a coffee, actually I need a manhattan. The clock has only move liked 3 minutes since I started typing this. I even stopped to drink some water. UGH! 2 1/2 hours left. I have work to do but no desire right now to do it. It's been like that all week. I'm just glad it is Friday. My co-workers brought in doughnuts today. They do this all the time. Since I'm on a diet I get to enjoy watching others eat them. It is better that way as I don't need them but it is hard not to indulged in their doughnutty goodness. They had my favorite, it is the boston cream pie w/custard filling. It was calling my name but I said "no". wow only two more minutes have gone by. this sucks.
SICK Is A Nice Word For What Bears Fans Are (Yeah!) Despicable Bears Fans [ABC26] Rex Grossman, Like Jim McMahon, But Without The Sunglasses And Headband [Deadspin] 'Worst' Banner At Playoff Game [MSNBC]
Friday, January 26, 2007
A real fucking post!!!!
I posted this on my myspace page
I don't have much to say. I just like hearing the sound of my own voice or in this case the words I type. Sometimes I have what some people would call a superiority complex. I don't really think I'm better then anyone else but sometimes I catch myself looking down on people. "Who the hell am I?" is what I tell myself but sometimes it doesn't work. I just sit there and wonder what the hell is wrong with them. I have a lot of flaws, most of them due to the fact my up bringing was less then ideal. I was poor growing up so you'd think I could relate and feel sympathy. To a point I do but then I look at certain people (I will not name them but their last name is similar if not the same as mine) and I see how they work the system and don't have to do shit. I bust my ass 40+ hours a week and they don't have to do anything. I have to pay taxes on my state tax return from last year for Christ sakes. That is messed up. I tend to lean towards the left when it comes to politics (that means I'm a Democrat for those of you that took a short bus to school). However, I find myself leaning more towards the right more and more. Milwaukee is sadly becoming a violent city. It is like we are a mini-Detroit (I call Detroit the taint of America, please note that when you click on the link you will see an actual taint, it will gross you out, God I love Wikipedia lol). We watched Miami Vice the movie tonight. It was 133 minutes. It was an ok movie but they probably could have done it in 48 minutes plus commercials. My brain just ran out of things to say. Talk to you later.
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little shits I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I hate the Sooners but who cares
Friday, October 27, 2006
Laa dadada it's the muther fucking D-o double G, SNOOP DOGG! Note to self: when going to airport leave the gun and weed behind
I hate the Cardinals, in fact my hatred is border line unhealthy. Sadly it looks like they'll beat the Kittens, err Tigers in the WS. They had a couple bad breaks last night and it probably cost them the series. Hopefully my Brewers will prevail next year (fingers crossed)
I hate Elway. This is from an e-mail. author unknown.
John Elway goes to Heaven
John Elway, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Broncos flag in the window. This house is yours for eternity, John ," said God. This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." John felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Green and Gold sidewalk, a 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Packers logo flag, and in every window, a Cheesehead. John looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won 2 Super Bowls, and I even went to the Hall of Fame." God said "So what do you want to know, John ?" Well, why does Brett Favre get a better house than me? God chuckled, and said " John , that's not Brett Favre's house, it's mine